I've been planning for what seems like an eternity to make this move. Original plans included having the house on the market for the end of April -it's mid May already. Uugh.
Eternity = 1 month
I've been so excited thinking about future, taking the trip to Boston, searching for a job (which is really hard to do every day BTW) and trying to get little things done with the house that I've created this anticipatory anxiety for myself. Is that a word?
Did you know there are NO books out there about how to relocate to another city? How does one go about picking up and moving to another city? Do I move before I sell my house? What if I sell and don't have a job? Where do I live then? How do you check out schools? I've effectively gone from releasing my old stress to creating new stress.
Good stress, good stress. Good times, good times.
Lunch with a girlfriend the other day sparked many questions. Mostly about the boy. Mostly about whether I was going to stay here for him. Mostly because she doesn't want me to move.
I've been in denial. There are more feelings there than I want to admit. But how does that work? This is all new to me. Do you lay your cards on the table even though you don't plan on being around? Why bother? Why not? What if he feels the same? What if he doesn't? How do you handle it? Stop making plans and see what happens? All these questions and no answers.
Back to the here and now. I've been living so much of my life in another time zone that I'm missing the experience of what's going on now. And wasn't that the point of all this? To live now and stop worrying about the future and enjoy what I have right now.
I'm tired of all these questions, how about you? (gotcha)
I'm laying my cards on the table.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Epiphany
I've recently had an epiphany. It took a while, several years if I actually think about it hard enough. Swirling around in my mind, sometimes forgotten, hiding behind stress, boredom and even depression.
It took a significant level of frustration and tears, medication and a great therapist, to help me actually speak the words. Once the words came out, there was no stopping it. It grew like a wild fire. It sparked. Just a little. It sparked some more. Tiny flames escaped and danced across my thoughts, skimming the top at first. But pretty soon I was ignited. No holding back. This was it.
It's really hard to explain how such a little decision or thought has changed my life, but it really has. The actual decision really comes down to relocation. I've decided to relocate myself (kids & dog included).
Phhft. Big Deal. Whooptie.
It's so much more than moving to a new city. Not because I've been here my entire life. Not because I had my first child at 22 (I was a baby myself!). It's about new beginnings. Downsizing. Experiences. Opportunity. Career. Kids. Living.
These are just words. It's everything behind them and within them that's so important.
So I chucked my stuff in a garage sale, I'm putting my house on the market, gave a lengthy notice at work and started a new job search.
The epiphany was not that I wanted to do it. But that I could do it.
It took a significant level of frustration and tears, medication and a great therapist, to help me actually speak the words. Once the words came out, there was no stopping it. It grew like a wild fire. It sparked. Just a little. It sparked some more. Tiny flames escaped and danced across my thoughts, skimming the top at first. But pretty soon I was ignited. No holding back. This was it.
It's really hard to explain how such a little decision or thought has changed my life, but it really has. The actual decision really comes down to relocation. I've decided to relocate myself (kids & dog included).
Phhft. Big Deal. Whooptie.
It's so much more than moving to a new city. Not because I've been here my entire life. Not because I had my first child at 22 (I was a baby myself!). It's about new beginnings. Downsizing. Experiences. Opportunity. Career. Kids. Living.
These are just words. It's everything behind them and within them that's so important.
So I chucked my stuff in a garage sale, I'm putting my house on the market, gave a lengthy notice at work and started a new job search.
The epiphany was not that I wanted to do it. But that I could do it.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Make a List - Moving
Listing of the different lists I made in preparation of garage sale/moving and de-cluttering my house:
1. Return to original owner - neighbors weedeater, friends formal for last year's ball, mom's dishes etc.
2. Sale on Craigslist - stuff too expensive for a garage sale i.e. more than $20
3. Give to a friend - stuff of mine my friends have admired and wanted to give them "parting gifts"
4. Spaces to visit - closets, rooms, drawers, nooks that I knew had stuff that needed to find a new home
5. Give to Baby Daddy - stuff that needed to be donated to the "Ex" i.e. gas grill, dishes
6. Stuff I can box now and store until moving - self explanatory
7. Keepsakes - stuff to be stored indefinitely in someone's attic so I don't have to move it. Need to locate the attic as well
8.Contributors - other people who could contribute to the garage sale and donate their money to me
9. Decisions, Decisions - stuff I needed to go through and decide how much they meant to me i.e. 3 years of Gourmet magazines, box of greeting cards I've received and kept
10. Shredding Stuff - old paperwork and files that need to be re-organized and minimized
1. Return to original owner - neighbors weedeater, friends formal for last year's ball, mom's dishes etc.
2. Sale on Craigslist - stuff too expensive for a garage sale i.e. more than $20
3. Give to a friend - stuff of mine my friends have admired and wanted to give them "parting gifts"
4. Spaces to visit - closets, rooms, drawers, nooks that I knew had stuff that needed to find a new home
5. Give to Baby Daddy - stuff that needed to be donated to the "Ex" i.e. gas grill, dishes
6. Stuff I can box now and store until moving - self explanatory
7. Keepsakes - stuff to be stored indefinitely in someone's attic so I don't have to move it. Need to locate the attic as well
8.Contributors - other people who could contribute to the garage sale and donate their money to me
9. Decisions, Decisions - stuff I needed to go through and decide how much they meant to me i.e. 3 years of Gourmet magazines, box of greeting cards I've received and kept
10. Shredding Stuff - old paperwork and files that need to be re-organized and minimized
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)