Live in the "Here and Now"

I've been planning for what seems like an eternity to make this move. Original plans included having the house on the market for the end of April -it's mid May already. Uugh.

Eternity = 1 month

I've been so excited thinking about future, taking the trip to Boston, searching for a job (which is really hard to do every day BTW) and trying to get little things done with the house that I've created this anticipatory anxiety for myself. Is that a word?

Did you know there are NO books out there about how to relocate to another city? How does one go about picking up and moving to another city? Do I move before I sell my house? What if I sell and don't have a job? Where do I live then? How do you check out schools? I've effectively gone from releasing my old stress to creating new stress.

Good stress, good stress. Good times, good times.

Lunch with a girlfriend the other day sparked many questions. Mostly about the boy. Mostly about whether I was going to stay here for him. Mostly because she doesn't want me to move.

I've been in denial. There are more feelings there than I want to admit. But how does that work? This is all new to me. Do you lay your cards on the table even though you don't plan on being around? Why bother? Why not? What if he feels the same? What if he doesn't? How do you handle it? Stop making plans and see what happens? All these questions and no answers.

Back to the here and now. I've been living so much of my life in another time zone that I'm missing the experience of what's going on now. And wasn't that the point of all this? To live now and stop worrying about the future and enjoy what I have right now.

I'm tired of all these questions, how about you? (gotcha)

I'm laying my cards on the table.